The character sprites were good. CGs were okay, I guess.
MC was kind of a dumdum. When dealing with a crazy person, they're not going to help unless they feel it's in their best interest.
I wanted to outsmart Oto-hime. Like, if talking isn't allowed, I'd try hand signals. Or I'd talk to Oto-hime while encoding important information in what I say that Oto-hime won't be able to spot.
I got the Bad End. Oto-hime had enough of my nonsense ig.
I just finished reading this and I have lots to say:
Spoiler alert
Great
Oto-hime is well done. It's a well-done, very tame yandere. She's well portrayed and the voice-actor, most of the time, did an excellent job in showing the soft-spokenness of her in contrast with her actions (when it was not excellent, it was good). I like a lot how the fact she's yandere appears over time and how it's revealed, with hints since very early.
OK
The co-workers were portrayed as fake bastards which allowed an interesting back and forth between wether Shimako was actually telling the truth or not. They were also a good tool to enhance and diverse Oto-hime's personality. The ending fits well for the buildup that the story has been bringing.
The bubbles are a nice touch.
Art style is incoherent. BG art, sprite art and CG art are disjoint and, from my perspective, it's as if the artists didn't do any communication to make it more cohesive. It doesn't stand out a lot but specially Oto-hime's detail level vs BG detail level does stand out.
Too bad that the coworkers didn't get to have complete sprites besides a silhouette.
NOPE
Shimako is, in my perspective, quite, with lack of better word, stupid. The actions, the options available, the thought process... If it wasn't for how interesting Oto-hime is and how cutely she's drawn, I think Shimako is really someone I'd avoid because of how much of a non-person she is. Countless times I felt like screaming to the screen for an option that would make sense... But it doesn't exist... After some time, it makes full sense it doesn't exist because it wouldn't make sense to Shimako's personality.
So so many actions narrated and not coded. Camera movements that could have been done, character movements that were not done, a couple more expressions for Oto-hime (is it because of lack of time? I understand if it is... Art takes time). I remember near the end, Shimako runs away but instead of zooming the camera out, Oto-hime is zoomed out. Also near the end, when Shimako is pushed in by the water, Oto-hime is zoomed in, instead of the camera zooming in.
WTF
So many menus asking for a choice. So many not-a-choice. So many seems to be a choice but it's not. It doesn't feel like a design choice. It feels more like to make the kinetic novel not feel like a kinetic novel when only a technicality at two points in the whole text makes it not a kinetic novel.
Overall
I reached the end and, I confess, it didn't really satisfy me. Even though, there are some parts that satisfied me, specially Oto-hime's portraial. Shimako... not really.
Thank you for the detailed review! I really appreciate it. I’m glad Oto-hime’s portrayal still resonated with you Sky is so awesome, and I agree with the choices, if we had the time I would have prob made it more immersive with the varying dialogues for each choice and making it more interactive and I want to improve my cinematography so much lol I’m still learning it rn, but finding out about renpy transform near the end was very scary and we didn’t have the the time to dive on to it deeply T.T and about Shimako I don’t know if our intentions work that well or not made clear enough, but I guess you got gaslighted by Oto-hime and love how you got frustrated over the choices lol, but I can see the issue your talking about though, we’re working on making it more noticeable and would love to have some visual cues and some dialogues for her fears and the effects of Oto-hime towards Shimako in the future, thanks.
Oh... I see... Lack of experience drove those cinematography issues. I thought with so many programmers, you'd be helping each other on that 🙂. Maybe I just overestimated, sorry. Check out https://feniksdev.com/. he has awesome tutorials. There's also lots of youtube videos.
I think I get it... In that case, I think that part of the story suffers HUGELY (and I mean "hugely") from "good intentions, bad execution". You are trying to show that Oto-hime is gaslighting all the time but, in reality, what comes across is that she's right all the time. There's no content showing the truth. There's no "before" in the story. There's only a hint about shaved ice with Shimako's own rejection. You can only continue fishing or go to your colleagues.... Both are just "go to turtle" without anything else. Then, the first time the reader knows about Shimako's past with her co-workers is about them treating her very badly. At that time, Oto-hime didn't have any real opportunity to gaslight Shimako into really thinking badly about her co-workers. But, just in the first scene with Oto-hime, I already go through a meaningless choice "move" and a meaningless choice "Why did you bring me here?". That already sets the tone for how choices work and will feel to the reader. Then when choosing what to eat being fully meaningless, cemented that tone. Even if you wanted to make it look like it's a "you don't have a choice because you are being gaslighted", you taught something else to the reader.
Was I able to explain it better from the POV of the reader? 🤔
IMO, this could gain A LOT from:
If the co-workers are actually good to Shimako, show an intro showcasing just that.
Maybe start with her having fun with her co-workers.
Maybe also include a still image of the stairs and Kanede event.
Make Shimako a little bit smarter. I know she has to stay an emotional pushover for the story to work this short but make her intent to do more.
Rework the menus/choices. Start more meaningful and make them more and more meaningless over time.
Also, I think this would be a good idea.
Make Shimako more distrusting of Oto-hime's advances in the very beginning (she was kidnapped, ffs!). But make Shimako gain trust faster, given how well she's been treated, instead of always in denial and always self-deprecating herself.
Don't make Shimako think that the fish are swimming on land... Please... Instead, for example, "Why are fish swimming around me?" or something of sort would help Shimako sound much less dumb (there's more but that one specially staid in my mind)
Thank you so much for this 😭. I will make a note on this. This will help us out a lot. I'm also trying to learn how to use ATL and making it much more cinematic so this is the perfect chance. Thank you again for your thoughtful reviews 🙏
this game was absolutely breathtaking!!!! i am seriously obsessed with oto-hime, and i will be thinking about this game for a very long long time. i love it very dearly!!!
Haven’t finished the ending yet, it’s quite long, but it’s impressive how you managed to complete such a long story in this short time!
One small thing is that I think some lines don’t match the voice, but I didn’t take a screenshot still a nice game, and the art is really good as well!
I've had some bugs in my playthrough like the ringing noise doesn't stop and keeps repeating till the end, some dialogues don't have voice acting or loaded incorrectly, it's kind of a bummer that the main character only appears in CGs, I love the ending CGs so much, but sadly it's also the only thing that makes this whole experience worth it I guess? Still a decent visual novel imo, reminds me a lot of Aquatic Grave by LiminAce which has somewhat the same story lol (https://liminace.itch.io/aquatic-grave).
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Wow I´m absolutely in love! My favourite thing were definetly the creepy sprites
I just finished reading this and I have lots to say:
Spoiler alert
Great
Oto-hime is well done. It's a well-done, very tame yandere. She's well portrayed and the voice-actor, most of the time, did an excellent job in showing the soft-spokenness of her in contrast with her actions (when it was not excellent, it was good). I like a lot how the fact she's yandere appears over time and how it's revealed, with hints since very early.
OK
The co-workers were portrayed as fake bastards which allowed an interesting back and forth between wether Shimako was actually telling the truth or not.
They were also a good tool to enhance and diverse Oto-hime's personality.
The ending fits well for the buildup that the story has been bringing.
The bubbles are a nice touch.
Art style is incoherent. BG art, sprite art and CG art are disjoint and, from my perspective, it's as if the artists didn't do any communication to make it more cohesive. It doesn't stand out a lot but specially Oto-hime's detail level vs BG detail level does stand out.
Too bad that the coworkers didn't get to have complete sprites besides a silhouette.
NOPE
Shimako is, in my perspective, quite, with lack of better word, stupid. The actions, the options available, the thought process... If it wasn't for how interesting Oto-hime is and how cutely she's drawn, I think Shimako is really someone I'd avoid because of how much of a non-person she is. Countless times I felt like screaming to the screen for an option that would make sense... But it doesn't exist... After some time, it makes full sense it doesn't exist because it wouldn't make sense to Shimako's personality.
So so many actions narrated and not coded. Camera movements that could have been done, character movements that were not done, a couple more expressions for Oto-hime (is it because of lack of time? I understand if it is... Art takes time). I remember near the end, Shimako runs away but instead of zooming the camera out, Oto-hime is zoomed out. Also near the end, when Shimako is pushed in by the water, Oto-hime is zoomed in, instead of the camera zooming in.
WTF
So many menus asking for a choice. So many not-a-choice. So many seems to be a choice but it's not. It doesn't feel like a design choice. It feels more like to make the kinetic novel not feel like a kinetic novel when only a technicality at two points in the whole text makes it not a kinetic novel.
Overall
I reached the end and, I confess, it didn't really satisfy me. Even though, there are some parts that satisfied me, specially Oto-hime's portraial. Shimako... not really.
5 out of 10
Thank you for the detailed review! I really appreciate it. I’m glad Oto-hime’s portrayal still resonated with you Sky is so awesome, and I agree with the choices, if we had the time I would have prob made it more immersive with the varying dialogues for each choice and making it more interactive and I want to improve my cinematography so much lol I’m still learning it rn, but finding out about renpy transform near the end was very scary and we didn’t have the the time to dive on to it deeply T.T and about Shimako I don’t know if our intentions work that well or not made clear enough, but I guess you got gaslighted by Oto-hime and love how you got frustrated over the choices lol, but I can see the issue your talking about though, we’re working on making it more noticeable and would love to have some visual cues and some dialogues for her fears and the effects of Oto-hime towards Shimako in the future, thanks.
Oh... I see... Lack of experience drove those cinematography issues. I thought with so many programmers, you'd be helping each other on that 🙂. Maybe I just overestimated, sorry. Check out https://feniksdev.com/. he has awesome tutorials. There's also lots of youtube videos.
I think I get it... In that case, I think that part of the story suffers HUGELY (and I mean "hugely") from "good intentions, bad execution". You are trying to show that Oto-hime is gaslighting all the time but, in reality, what comes across is that she's right all the time.
There's no content showing the truth. There's no "before" in the story. There's only a hint about shaved ice with Shimako's own rejection. You can only continue fishing or go to your colleagues.... Both are just "go to turtle" without anything else. Then, the first time the reader knows about Shimako's past with her co-workers is about them treating her very badly.
At that time, Oto-hime didn't have any real opportunity to gaslight Shimako into really thinking badly about her co-workers. But, just in the first scene with Oto-hime, I already go through a meaningless choice "move" and a meaningless choice "Why did you bring me here?". That already sets the tone for how choices work and will feel to the reader. Then when choosing what to eat being fully meaningless, cemented that tone. Even if you wanted to make it look like it's a "you don't have a choice because you are being gaslighted", you taught something else to the reader.
Was I able to explain it better from the POV of the reader? 🤔
IMO, this could gain A LOT from:
Also, I think this would be a good idea.
Thank you for your attention.
Thank you so much for this 😭. I will make a note on this. This will help us out a lot. I'm also trying to learn how to use ATL and making it much more cinematic so this is the perfect chance. Thank you again for your thoughtful reviews 🙏
You sound like a great person. Here's an offer: If you want, I can give you some examples with some of your work.
For now, you can find me on discord under the same username. You can DM me and I can give some practical help 😉.
Such a beautiful atmosphere and interesting story! I love marine themes and eldritch sea inhabitants so much! Uuu... i want more >_<
Thanks, I feel the same way. I want to see more of this kind of games 😭. I want evil mermaids and I want more yuri eldritch horror in general.
this game was absolutely breathtaking!!!! i am seriously obsessed with oto-hime, and i will be thinking about this game for a very long long time. i love it very dearly!!!
Thanks, we're happy that you like it so much!
Lovely art, and it was fun to get all the endings! Oto-hime's VA and characterization are great.
Haven’t finished the ending yet, it’s quite long, but it’s impressive how you managed to complete such a long story in this short time!
One small thing is that I think some lines don’t match the voice, but I didn’t take a screenshot still a nice game, and the art is really good as well!
Thanks for letting us know and playing our game. We might have missed those bugs.
I've had some bugs in my playthrough like the ringing noise doesn't stop and keeps repeating till the end, some dialogues don't have voice acting or loaded incorrectly, it's kind of a bummer that the main character only appears in CGs, I love the ending CGs so much, but sadly it's also the only thing that makes this whole experience worth it I guess? Still a decent visual novel imo, reminds me a lot of Aquatic Grave by LiminAce which has somewhat the same story lol (https://liminace.itch.io/aquatic-grave).
Thanks for playing our game! We will work to fix the bugs you mentioned!!!
Just poppin in to say thanks for letting us know about this bug. It was really helpful! Thanks again!!